3 Minutes

(continued from last post)

"Now if we could just get her to breathe..."

I looked down at my baby. Mary was still in the doctor's hands. She was calmly, slowly looking around, but not crying, not breathing. She was still the dead looking purple-white color that babies are until they breathe. My baby wouldn't start breathing.

The doctor coolly said, "I'll massage the umbilical cord (it hadn't been cut yet). Sometimes that gives them the jump start they need."

No change.

Dr. Jacob, "Don't worry. I'll hand her over to the nurses now. They'll get her going."

Mary was taken over to the baby table. I was holding Robert's hand. Both of us were frozen with worry. Thank heaven Katie was there. I think she could sense I was on the verge of panicking. She remained completely calm and kept saying, "It's okay. They're taking care of her. She'll be okay. They'll get her to cry."

One minute had passed. They gave Mary her first APGAR score - 1 out of 10. I could hear them call out what her heart rate was, down to 40 beats per minute and dropping. They called in the respiratory team. Dr. Jacob reassured me that they always have the respiratory team standing by just in case this very situation happened. He said again everything was under control and Mary would be just fine. They came in, put an oxygen pump mask on Mary's face and continued massaging/stimulating different points on her little body.

I felt like there were 2 dimensions of reality in the room. One was the actual one, filled with medical personnel, Katie, and us. Then the other one was the one I felt more a part of. Everything else blurred away and there was just Mary fighting for her first breath and Robert and I holding hands worried for our baby's life.

My thoughts turned to my Heavenly Father. I plead to him, "Please! Please don't take her back. Please don't take her away from me." over and over. Within moments after my pleading began, I felt a calming comfort come over me and a phrase entered my mind. "Whether I take her now or decades later, she is yours forever." My testimony was reaffirmed once again in God's Plan of Happiness. I know that since Robert and I were married in the temple and sealed for eternity that as long as we live faithful to the covenants we made in the temple, our family is forever.

Then at 8:10pm, Mary gasped and let out her first cry.

Just after they got her going

She turned pink right away. Her APGAR score at 5 minutes was 9 - practically perfect and she's been that way ever since. Dr. Jacob joked that sometimes it just takes a couple extra minutes for babies to learn how to breathe. Dr. Holmes/Uncle Rick, our pediatrician explained to us later that sometimes when the pushing goes as fast as mine did (again, I was only pushing for 5 minutes) it makes the baby go into shock when they first come out. It's not super common, but it does happen. 

I will never forget those 3 minutes. They've given me a whole new appreciation and gratitude for the opportunity and blessing I have to be a mother to my 2 beautiful daughters of God. It is the most wonderful calling in the eternities.

I love being a Mom!